head in the clouds

Halfway through the day today I realized I was dressed way too warmly so I changed out of the stockings I initially wore to work and not a single person noticed. Now you’re probably wondering, ‘well they might’ve noticed, they just didn’t comment on it.’ Which is true. Absolutely. But that’s not the point. The reason I am leading with this somewhat random statement is because it teleported me into an entirely different wave of thinking.

Warning: Excessive rambling to follow.

This low key surprise at the realization that no one mentioned my outfit change made me think about how much time we spend thinking about ourselves. Which made me remember a psychology lecture in university that talked about this concept that basically described how we, as humans, spend way more time internally calculating how people are deceiving/thinking about us than they actually do. I wish I could remember what the technical title was of this notion because obviously it stuck with me. I was always fascinated with psychology in school – especially the course I took on child and adolescence dealing with behaviour, personality development etc.

Now, think about all the people you pass by during a day. On the bus, in the train, on your walk home from the drugstore. How much do you notice in that split second interaction when your realities are momentarily overlapping? Probably not too much. And if you do, how long do you actually spend dwelling on this stranger’s choice of tie colour or selection of footwear? Not much. In all honesty, we are WAY too preoccupied with our own lives; what we’re going to eat for dinner, who we’re going to meet for coffee, and how we’re going to grocery shop in between work and guitar lessons. That’s the tough-to-swallow-truth.

I’m an observer. I’m one of those people who notices the details and likes to know why someone is the way they are. I’ve always been that way, and I believe it boils down to my love of and fascination with humans in general. My curiosity grips me and I constantly find myself lost in thought wondering who the guy across from me on the bus is heading home to see or where the elderly lady I talked to at the gas station is having her Christmas dinner. Who makes that person the person they are. Where do they spend their time, and why do they love the things they love.

Okay, I know those are all really deep questions, but the point I’m trying to make is that I spend time thinking about these things due to my captivation with the mundane everyday things. However, I’m not trying to say that I catch every passing detail, and I’m am always completely present and attuned to my surroundings. Absolutely not. There’s more than I know that passes me by unsuspectingly, and that’s the raw reality. We live in a society full of distractions. A world powered by multi-taskers, shortened lunch-takers, and lightning fast responders. We live in a digital era where it’s extremely hard to avoid disjointed periods of focus.

Something I have been consciously working on is being present. I realize this is something that sounds so simple, and so unoriginal, yet is still very difficult to obtain. Complete presence. What does that look like? I’m still trying to figure it out, and I think it’s an ongoing personal exploration that will differ with each person. Being right in the midst of life where I can ‘shoot for the stars,’ I’ve been deliberately working on keeping my mind in the present. Keeping my goals attainable. Living life day-to-day.

A couple months ago, my mind was anywhere but right here. I was continuously letting myself get way too far ahead, wishing I was doing something different, traveling somewhere different. Different. Different. Different. I realized after a couple months that this is no way to live. The fragility of life is far too well-known to spend your time fretting about the fact that you forgot to straighten a huge chunk of your hair, or you slept through your alarm. I hate to think about the moments or feelings or experiences I might’ve missed due to my mindset.

It's all about mindset, my friends.

It’s all about how you want to shape your outlook.

I will be the first to admit that it’s a lot easier to say this than to actually do it. But I’m trying everyday to take it in completely. See the ups in the downs. Find peace in the quiet (Love you, Cale).

If nothing or no one has reminded you today: the breath you just took is a blessing.

God is good.

A